Unemployed no more!!!!
yeah well iam bak after an eon...and a lot of things that have happened during this hiatus are gonna be etched in my mind for a long long time.Anyways i've been makin too many empty promises off late about bloggin,so its time to make good on that promise.
So where should i start......oh ya!! the placements..seems like an eternity has passed( maybe thats cos i was fortunate enough to get placed the second day itself in a company that is now loathed by one and all in our college)..quite ironic considering the fact that ppl were waitin wid bated breath for it to arrive..but u cant the blame the poor guys, the company recruitment policy suks and that too big time.
So let me get bak to the beginning.....the counselling jus got over and surprisingly the seats got filled despite my sincerest efforts to dissuade nyone hu got the chance to accost me.The RI seemed to be heading nowhere wid none of us ready to commit ourselves wholeheartedly to it although i must say steve had a few surprises up his sleeve. So the next thing that was bugging me now was the Placements that were scheduled to start in a week, especially the technical interviews. I mean how am i supposed to brush up concepts that were taught for whole semesters in just a matter of days? The ppl around me werent helpin either, the efforts these guys were puttin got me all jittery..i almost had a heart attack when i saw fellas downloadin test papers from the net and sorting it by company, added to that everyone seemed to have solved shakunthala devi's puzzle book so thoroughly that they were even quoting wid conviction, the problem numbers and page numbers. So here i was sleepless over a couple of tests and interviews....No wonder i had a disheveled look when D-day actually arrived.
It started on a Sunday(A Sunday!!!!) the first company to arrive was Mindtree(good company, the ppt looked cool) they conducted a test that to me by no means justified the name "Technical test". A dozen questions and ur CPI were all that mattered. Not that iam cryin cos i dint get it, but the screening process could hav been much better. I knew the minute i handed in the test sheet that i had a 50/50 hit or miss chance and wasnt tryin to nurture hopes on landin a plum offer. But despite all my efforts to brace myself for rejection, i cudnt handle myself when it struck me right in the face. Rejection is not somethin new in my life, infact it has always been part and parcel of my life but somehow i can never face up to it. A deep void started to open up inside me as i stood there searchin for my name only to notice that i had already been bypassed. All around me ppl were whoopin wid joy and all i cud do was put up a brave face but inside i was crumblin to pieces. "am I really a worthless piece of shit?". "should have put more effort into the placements" "what am i gonna tell the folks at home?" questions were ringin in my mind as i tried in vain to catch up on some sleep. As a result i woke up the next mornin only to realize that i had missed the ppt, i had to rush to the test. The test was an aptitude test which resembled the GRE Computer based test, being blessed wid a good vocabulary i managed to clear it. It was finally time for the interviews and i was dreadin the fact that i had to put on a costume which i wud hav otherwise laughed at. I still cant come to grips wid the reason as to dress up formally in full sleeves and shinin black shoes when plain old jeans and T's cud hav done the job. But thats the way it was and most of my comrades seem to agree too. Evrythin seemed to be sailin smoothly until i was brought back to reality by an unfortunate incident that churned my stomach inside out. i was hastenin towards the canteen to catch up on a quick lunch bfore the interview when i thought i heard someone weepin pretty hard, so i was surprised when it turned out to be a guy i knew and chatted wid daily. Apparently he couldnt clear the test and seemed so depressed that in that state he could have done nythin. I tried consolin him but to no avail... well lets face it, i suk at handlin emotionally charged situations so i called in for backup. finally when the guy was in good hands i left for the interview but all the while kept thinkin abt the incident, it made me realize how important landin a job was and that it is a curse to fail when others around u have succeeded. Now this made me all the more jittery, i had to crack the interview and get it over with cos one more rejection and i would have lost all faith in myself. But luck it seems favors the desperate apart frm the brave. While ppl were gettin rejected left right and center by one panel, my panel on the other hand seemed to be recomendin nythin that crossed their path..so here i was hungry, sweaty and sleepy waitin wid bated breath for the final hurdle, the HR interview.
The HR interview i must say was the High point of the day, partly cos i had to wait 3 hrs for it and partly cos the HR was where i pulled off a couple of wisecracks and was at my most audacious self(Courtesy Naruto). now let me give a brief rundown of the interview i had with this guy hu seemed hell bent on cornerin me. i was ushered into the room at 7:00 exactly 3 hrs after i got to know that i was recommened for HR
HR guy: "So u r sriram eh...sriram lagoo is it"
"whats this guy gettin at??" i thought, a quizzical expression on my face
HR guy: "do u even know hu sriram lagoo is?"
yeah right!!! like thats the most important thing right now, so i reply " i think he is someone associated wid the hindi film industry"
HR guy(shoots bak): "why do u think??"
me: "cos iam least interested in the hindi film industry"
"so u'r all hollywood eh.." the guy sniggers, i could feel the frustration inside me rising " cut the crap and get to the point" i thought. Thankfully he dint pursue the line either.
"so ur dad's an AGM in a bank eh.., do u know how an ATM works" an innocuous question which needed an innocuos answer but the wise-ass in me always awakens at d wrong moment and before i could stop myself i could sense with rising panic as the words tumbled out of my mouth "As long as i got my money i had no reason to wonder how it works"
("I dont take bak my words, that is my way of the Ninja!!!)
Now it was the turn of the HR guy to look incredulous..he seemed to be sizin me up and then asked me " how do u keep urself updated wid technology?"..i was stumped cos thats somethin i've never done. " i read magazines" (Big FAT lie)
"what do u read??" this guy was out to grill me. "er...scientific american, digit etc.." i replied a li'l hesitantly
"are u interested in anythin desi for a change" the guy asked, the sarcasm pretty evident.. i gave him a sheepish grin and kept my mouth shut there was no point arguin now, i knew i had already pulled enuf wisecracks to get rejected twice or thrice.
"So wats the latest articles u've read in the American" he asks, i knew this guy was probin for a weakness...falter once and he was ready to corner u and take u to pieces. Thats when i decided to call the bluff, i mean this guy has a lot better things to do than read the 'American and i started off enthusiastically givin him a brief on an article about missile defence systems and air based intervention that i had read in one of those very rare occassions two semesters back( She was there in the library and i cudnt miss the chance to keep starin at her and have a good excuse). When i finally finished the guy seemed impressed and i was laughin my head off inside.
"so why should i hire you?" he asks.."ah!!! an HR question atlast" i think wid glee. so i start off saying things like "Hardworkin, skilled blah blah" and all he does is continue sniggerin as if iam talkin to the wall. so i retort sharply " what do u expect as an answer?" the guy seemed a li'l taken aback but still persists wid the question "what value will u add to the company" he asks
("Frankly i don even give a damn wat value i add to ur company, i want a job and iam a li'l desperate man!!!" i was seethin wid rage)
" i possess certain leadership skills which i might put to good use given a chance" i say.
"Did u lead any project" he asks a li'l suspiciously, "i coordinated group activities during the summer internship"(Steve would hav had my ass had he heard this[:)]) , the guy was thorough in his grillin and by the time he had finished he must have had a fair idea of how many ppl i had interviewed and how many coffee breaks i took.
"Ok Mr.Sriram it was nice having u here"
"Thank you sir." i mumble givin him a weak smile and rushed out of the room. Then things started to happen as if in a trance, i got mobbed by my comrades hu seemed pretty anxious to know evry question and evry answer, all i could say to them was "Sambhalke bhai". after tht i was out in d open, the wild outdoors.
Ah!! the air outside was so rejuvenating that i stood a full minute takin it in.
Later that night....
all i cud do was keep my fingers crossed hopin that the guy must have somethin of value and put my name on that LIST.. i was literally kickin myself for bein a smartass when it mattered the most. So the whoop i let out when the list actually arrived surprised evryone..they all jus seemd
to ask me "whats so surprising, u wud have got it nyway" and i just looked bak at them and smiled
" if only they knew."
Disclaimer: Sorry for the humongous post but i jus cudnt contain myself..this is jus the beginnin, got 2 months worth of memories to chronicle.... this is gonna take some time
So where should i start......oh ya!! the placements..seems like an eternity has passed( maybe thats cos i was fortunate enough to get placed the second day itself in a company that is now loathed by one and all in our college)..quite ironic considering the fact that ppl were waitin wid bated breath for it to arrive..but u cant the blame the poor guys, the company recruitment policy suks and that too big time.
So let me get bak to the beginning.....the counselling jus got over and surprisingly the seats got filled despite my sincerest efforts to dissuade nyone hu got the chance to accost me.The RI seemed to be heading nowhere wid none of us ready to commit ourselves wholeheartedly to it although i must say steve had a few surprises up his sleeve. So the next thing that was bugging me now was the Placements that were scheduled to start in a week, especially the technical interviews. I mean how am i supposed to brush up concepts that were taught for whole semesters in just a matter of days? The ppl around me werent helpin either, the efforts these guys were puttin got me all jittery..i almost had a heart attack when i saw fellas downloadin test papers from the net and sorting it by company, added to that everyone seemed to have solved shakunthala devi's puzzle book so thoroughly that they were even quoting wid conviction, the problem numbers and page numbers. So here i was sleepless over a couple of tests and interviews....No wonder i had a disheveled look when D-day actually arrived.
It started on a Sunday(A Sunday!!!!) the first company to arrive was Mindtree(good company, the ppt looked cool) they conducted a test that to me by no means justified the name "Technical test". A dozen questions and ur CPI were all that mattered. Not that iam cryin cos i dint get it, but the screening process could hav been much better. I knew the minute i handed in the test sheet that i had a 50/50 hit or miss chance and wasnt tryin to nurture hopes on landin a plum offer. But despite all my efforts to brace myself for rejection, i cudnt handle myself when it struck me right in the face. Rejection is not somethin new in my life, infact it has always been part and parcel of my life but somehow i can never face up to it. A deep void started to open up inside me as i stood there searchin for my name only to notice that i had already been bypassed. All around me ppl were whoopin wid joy and all i cud do was put up a brave face but inside i was crumblin to pieces. "am I really a worthless piece of shit?". "should have put more effort into the placements" "what am i gonna tell the folks at home?" questions were ringin in my mind as i tried in vain to catch up on some sleep. As a result i woke up the next mornin only to realize that i had missed the ppt, i had to rush to the test. The test was an aptitude test which resembled the GRE Computer based test, being blessed wid a good vocabulary i managed to clear it. It was finally time for the interviews and i was dreadin the fact that i had to put on a costume which i wud hav otherwise laughed at. I still cant come to grips wid the reason as to dress up formally in full sleeves and shinin black shoes when plain old jeans and T's cud hav done the job. But thats the way it was and most of my comrades seem to agree too. Evrythin seemed to be sailin smoothly until i was brought back to reality by an unfortunate incident that churned my stomach inside out. i was hastenin towards the canteen to catch up on a quick lunch bfore the interview when i thought i heard someone weepin pretty hard, so i was surprised when it turned out to be a guy i knew and chatted wid daily. Apparently he couldnt clear the test and seemed so depressed that in that state he could have done nythin. I tried consolin him but to no avail... well lets face it, i suk at handlin emotionally charged situations so i called in for backup. finally when the guy was in good hands i left for the interview but all the while kept thinkin abt the incident, it made me realize how important landin a job was and that it is a curse to fail when others around u have succeeded. Now this made me all the more jittery, i had to crack the interview and get it over with cos one more rejection and i would have lost all faith in myself. But luck it seems favors the desperate apart frm the brave. While ppl were gettin rejected left right and center by one panel, my panel on the other hand seemed to be recomendin nythin that crossed their path..so here i was hungry, sweaty and sleepy waitin wid bated breath for the final hurdle, the HR interview.
The HR interview i must say was the High point of the day, partly cos i had to wait 3 hrs for it and partly cos the HR was where i pulled off a couple of wisecracks and was at my most audacious self(Courtesy Naruto). now let me give a brief rundown of the interview i had with this guy hu seemed hell bent on cornerin me. i was ushered into the room at 7:00 exactly 3 hrs after i got to know that i was recommened for HR
HR guy: "So u r sriram eh...sriram lagoo is it"
"whats this guy gettin at??" i thought, a quizzical expression on my face
HR guy: "do u even know hu sriram lagoo is?"
yeah right!!! like thats the most important thing right now, so i reply " i think he is someone associated wid the hindi film industry"
HR guy(shoots bak): "why do u think??"
me: "cos iam least interested in the hindi film industry"
"so u'r all hollywood eh.." the guy sniggers, i could feel the frustration inside me rising " cut the crap and get to the point" i thought. Thankfully he dint pursue the line either.
"so ur dad's an AGM in a bank eh.., do u know how an ATM works" an innocuous question which needed an innocuos answer but the wise-ass in me always awakens at d wrong moment and before i could stop myself i could sense with rising panic as the words tumbled out of my mouth "As long as i got my money i had no reason to wonder how it works"
("I dont take bak my words, that is my way of the Ninja!!!)
Now it was the turn of the HR guy to look incredulous..he seemed to be sizin me up and then asked me " how do u keep urself updated wid technology?"..i was stumped cos thats somethin i've never done. " i read magazines" (Big FAT lie)
"what do u read??" this guy was out to grill me. "er...scientific american, digit etc.." i replied a li'l hesitantly
"are u interested in anythin desi for a change" the guy asked, the sarcasm pretty evident.. i gave him a sheepish grin and kept my mouth shut there was no point arguin now, i knew i had already pulled enuf wisecracks to get rejected twice or thrice.
"So wats the latest articles u've read in the American" he asks, i knew this guy was probin for a weakness...falter once and he was ready to corner u and take u to pieces. Thats when i decided to call the bluff, i mean this guy has a lot better things to do than read the 'American and i started off enthusiastically givin him a brief on an article about missile defence systems and air based intervention that i had read in one of those very rare occassions two semesters back( She was there in the library and i cudnt miss the chance to keep starin at her and have a good excuse). When i finally finished the guy seemed impressed and i was laughin my head off inside.
"so why should i hire you?" he asks.."ah!!! an HR question atlast" i think wid glee. so i start off saying things like "Hardworkin, skilled blah blah" and all he does is continue sniggerin as if iam talkin to the wall. so i retort sharply " what do u expect as an answer?" the guy seemed a li'l taken aback but still persists wid the question "what value will u add to the company" he asks
("Frankly i don even give a damn wat value i add to ur company, i want a job and iam a li'l desperate man!!!" i was seethin wid rage)
" i possess certain leadership skills which i might put to good use given a chance" i say.
"Did u lead any project" he asks a li'l suspiciously, "i coordinated group activities during the summer internship"(Steve would hav had my ass had he heard this[:)]) , the guy was thorough in his grillin and by the time he had finished he must have had a fair idea of how many ppl i had interviewed and how many coffee breaks i took.
"Ok Mr.Sriram it was nice having u here"
"Thank you sir." i mumble givin him a weak smile and rushed out of the room. Then things started to happen as if in a trance, i got mobbed by my comrades hu seemed pretty anxious to know evry question and evry answer, all i could say to them was "Sambhalke bhai". after tht i was out in d open, the wild outdoors.
Ah!! the air outside was so rejuvenating that i stood a full minute takin it in.
Later that night....
all i cud do was keep my fingers crossed hopin that the guy must have somethin of value and put my name on that LIST.. i was literally kickin myself for bein a smartass when it mattered the most. So the whoop i let out when the list actually arrived surprised evryone..they all jus seemd
to ask me "whats so surprising, u wud have got it nyway" and i just looked bak at them and smiled
" if only they knew."
Disclaimer: Sorry for the humongous post but i jus cudnt contain myself..this is jus the beginnin, got 2 months worth of memories to chronicle.... this is gonna take some time
posted by sriram at 6:41 PM
8 Comments:
Telling you. The length did not really matter. It was very entertaining. Sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick despite reading all the hardships associated with getting through placements. But it was funny the way you put it with all the asides.
And ghantaaaaa. Everyone rightly knew you can get across every high tide in your life :p. You are one of the most talented and exemplary students of your batch. Time to call spade a spade bey
Wow! from flng frustrated 2 forsaken 2 frantic 2 happy, v hv had it all in a crash course in the placement week...
Gud one be! btw, wht abt gre, cat phoding?! write if tht also...
first of all, cut out the unnecessary apologies at the end of such great posts! kudos to u, dude! man, the post gave me a good laugh! can remember asking myself the same question, "am I really a worthless piece of shit?", that too 2 bloody times:D! hehehe! now i can laugh when i recapitulate on those days!
btw, quite a few references i find to myself! i'm honored:P! but what was the trick i had up my sleeve?! i'm totally stumped!
and pssst...wherever u've mentioned my name, how abt making it a hyperling to my page! a nice way to gain readership:D! hehe! just kidding!
Who- haha ... that was cool, really loved this post. I actually got thrown out of an interview (or rather, was not selected) because I told the guys in their face that their recruitment test was sub-standard :) Looking forward to your other chronicles ;)
@rahul
the only person in this world hu doesnt have faith in me is myself...nobody can beat that
honored as i might be by ur praise..i can never come to terms wid it [;)]
@Nares
thx mama, placement was an eye opener..it brought to light a ot of things...gre gurinchi raaya pothuna...expect it in some days
@smartalec
abe steve the surprise was the enthu u showed dude!! u kick started the RI...and yeah the link idea is good.alas! i find no mention in anybody's blogs...
@sudipta
thx dude....
iam desperate,even "my freedom"(tunneling) aint helpin dude..i can chat in yahoo msngr but i cant get to ur blog..wat do i do..
Well u know wat again our thoughts matched...That thought of am i worthless piece of shit struck me many a times..but i jus hope that i give such smartass answers in my interviews when i attend next sem.
Actually, you can get into my blog through http://www.proxify.com or through any of the sites that come up when you google for "anonymous surfing". Hope to see you there :)
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